The Lifestyle Coach

This blog has moved!

2011-12-14T07:33:00.000-08:00

Thank you to all those who have followed our blog and shared their comments over the past few years.

I am moving this blog to a different location as of the beginning of 2012.

You can visit the new blog at lifestylerevolution.blogspot.com

We also have a video page on youtube

Or you can connect with me via my Google+ profile

Catch you soon!

Dan

Is mainstream news still relevant?

2011-11-16T15:01:00.000-08:00

The way we experience media has certainly changed during the past 5-10 years. But, have we changed our intake of news as well?

It used to be that all 'news' came through the newspaper or television; I clearly remember my grandfather and father religiously watching and reading the news each day. For much of my early life, that was the way people stayed up-to-date and learned about the world.

But in the past 10 years, the shift away from conventional media has started. And more and more people are turning to online news sources, blogs, and even social media sites as their first source of 'new news'. It seems the way we take in information has changed, and that begs the question: is mainstream news still relevant?

A few years ago, I read a book by Tim Ferriss called The 4 hour Work Week. It was an interesting read (check out my review here if you like) and one of the key ideas I took away was the 'low information diet'.

In the book, Tim tells how we decided to stop watching and listening to mainstream news and current affairs, to test whether it had any effect on his attitude or lifestyle. It turned out that he didnt miss too much, and if he did miss something important, somebody would tell him about it.

I decided this was a good idea to test, and in the past few years have put myself been on a low information diet, especially when it comes to news reports. I don't watch it, or subscribe to any of it online. In fact, I have now created a view about this: other people's news is none of my business. And lo and behold... I think my attitude and general world view has become more positive as a result.

Now, do I occasionally miss an important news story? Of course, but I have found that - same as Tim experienced - people around me generally tell me pretty quickly if something big happens.

So, that is my view, and I am interested to hear your thoughts too: do you watch or read less news now than you did 5 or 10 years ago, do you have different sources you trust now compared to then? And if you have changed, what has been the effect for you.

Feel free to comment here or on youtube.

Is the book a dying technology?

2011-11-12T09:05:00.000-08:00

This is a question I have been asking myself lately, with the collapse of Borders, and the growth of eBook readers, like the iPad and the Kindle, it seems like the days of the book are numbered. Maybe one day, we will be telling our grandchildren that we actually used to read on paper...

Of course, there are two sides to any argument, and here are my thoughts on both sides:

One on hand, I can see the value of the eBook approach. Digital media is much more transferable, the information is instantly available and you can duplicate it. It is also much more environmentally sound, as no trees are needed to make the paper.

On the other hand, I know there is a certain joy in laying down to read a book, turning the pages, and experiencing it as a physical object. The paper book doesn't need batteries, and can be stored for years or given away to someone else once finished.

The main concern I have with books going digital is that all the older books may not make it into digital format. I have one particular book in my collection I bought on eBay for only a few dollars, that is over 100 years old. It is an old business how-to guide from the turn of the 19th century. I have personally loved reading it, not just for the knowledge, but also the aesthetic. You can feel the history in the pages, and even though I'll never know who owned it before me, I know this book once helped someone else too.

Now that I have shared my thoughts, what do you think? Do you think eBooks are the way of the future, or will the book be around for centuries to come? Which format do you prefer?

(Share your thoughts here, or comment on YouTube.)

Work Less, Live More

2011-02-28T07:20:00.000-08:00

One of my favourite books to be released in the past few years is The 4 Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss. You've probably at least heard about this book, or you've maybe even read it yourself.

This book burst onto the business/self-help scene back in 2007, and quickly made a name for itself. Although some of the press was a little harsh, most readers agreed that this book had some worthwhile ideas about living a great lifestyle.

The book's ambitious title challenges us to think outside the box when it comes to how we work and live in the post-internet world. Tim Ferris poses ideas to help us think of new ways to break old molds and try to live a better lifestyle alongside having a successful career.

In the review below, I share some of the key insights I gathered from reading through this book:

Please feel free to leave me a comment below to let me know what you think...

The Law of 80/20

2011-02-22T22:27:00.000-08:00

Way back in the 1800s, an Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto discovered something strange about wealth. He figured out that of all the money in a society, 80% of it is controlled by only 20% of the people. This idea was later expanded upon by Joseph Juran, and called the Pareto Principle, and sometimes the 80/20 Principle.

The rule states that you don't get equal return for the efforts you put in. In fact, most of what you do is wasted, and only a small amount of your effort actually matters.

What's amazing about this idea is that it extends to a ton of different parts of your life. Consider some of these ideas for example:

- you wear 20% of your clothes 80% of the time
- the first 20% of the food you eat satisfies 80% of your appetite
- you get 80% of your happiness from about 20% of the people you know

And, probably most important of all: you usually get 80% of your rewards in life from only 20% of what you do.

In 1998, business consultant Richard Koch wrote an excellent book on this topic. And in the video below, I wanted to share some of the best ideas that I gleaned from reading it.

Please feel free to leave me a comment below to let me know what you think...

Do You Matter?

2011-02-20T08:29:00.000-08:00

Like a lot of people out there, I've converted over to using Mac computers in the past few years. Since doing that, I've become what is known as a 'fanboy' of the Apple brand. It seems like the more I look at the way this company works and designs its products, the more I am sold.

Now, I know that some people strongly dislike Apple's approach to tech, and I can respect that, but one thing most people can agree on is that they are masters of design.

Recently, I came across a really interesting book all about this topic. the title is 'Do You Matter? by Robert Brunner & Stuart Emery. The topic of the book is how great design will make people love your company.

Here's my book review if you'd like to check it out for yourself:

Please feel free to leave me a comment below to let me know what you think...

Silent Power

2011-02-17T09:20:00.000-08:00

I've recently started reviewing some of my favourite business and self-help books on YouTube. One of the best books I've read in the past few years (and I read a LOT of books) is Silent Power by Stuart Wilde.

This book is amazing if you want to improve your sense of inner calm, and at the same time become more influential with other people.

Here's my book review if you'd like to check it out for yourself:

Please leave a comment below to let me know what you think, and if this review was helpful for you.

How many friends is too many?

2010-10-07T11:48:00.000-07:00

There is news today that Facebook has created an algorithm to help you decide which of your friends are most important to you.

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg summed up the idea by saying "We can help you know ... who you are likely to be close with".

It got me thinking... have we really reached a stage in our society where we all need an algorithm to tell us who is most important to us?

Now, dont get me wrong, I use Facebook just as much as anyone else, and I value the fact it keeps me in touch with friends and relatives spread across the globe. Still, I have to ask myself sometimes whether I actually need to know all the intimate details of the 100+ people who are my "friends" on Facebook.

Truth be told, I could probably never see or speak to 75% of them again, and my life wouldn't be much worse off. Its not that I dont like these people, but the shared experiences I had with them havent lasted over the long term. And the truth is I am not the only person who thinks this way.

Most of us have experienced the "Facebook rush", when we first joined up. You probably remember it: when everyone suddenly added you as a friend. Its lot like a high school reunion on steroids. You were like the cool kid in class everyone wanted to give a high five to.

But after the initial slew of emails, wall posts and comparing photos, most of those people tend to just fade into your friends list, occasionally making themselves heard with a status or photo update. Some strangely disappear for a while and then reappear. And overall, life goes on pretty much as normal once the rush subsides.

So this begs the big question... how many friends does a person actually need before they hit overload?

Well, there have been a lot of studies recently in evolutionary psychology to say that human beings are wired to be able to remember the names and faces of roughly 100 people. More than that, and we have to start 'deleting' some people to make room in our memory for new ones.

Last year, the website Read|Write|Web asked readers how many Facebook friends they had. The vast majority had under 500, and 45% had under 100. It seems like most people naturally limit the number of friends that they can realistically manage.

Within that 100-200, there will be 10-20 or so 'core' people whom we spend most of our time with. These are our family and friends who really matter to us. These are the ones who we would call if the world was ending tomorrow.

I guess what is scary when we think about Facebook (or any other social media site) is that if we have 100 or more people vying for our time, then are we able to really value the ones that are most important?

Here's my way of knowing who is most important - anyone whose home I visit, I call or skype or SMS with, or emails me on my personal email. These are the people who really matter.

So with this in mind, I have another question... why dont we just delete the other 75% from our Facebook friends?

I believe the truth is that we like to see what other people are 'up to'. Our social programming enjoys the voyeuristic side of Facebook. We have a small peephole into the lives of a ton of other people, and we can't get enough of it.

I think that is the true reason why Facebook is so popular. Because if Facebook closed down tomorrow, we could still visit, call or email the people who are truly important to us.

Projecting your Passions

2010-10-06T13:44:00.000-07:00

Its really rare to these days to meet someone who has a strong interest or hobby.

Whenever you met someone new, and ask them about themselves, you usually just hear about their work or family. Not many people talk about things that interest them outside of that.

Why is that?
Why don't people share their interests or hobbies with other people?

Honestly, I think its because past a certain age, we don't commit any real time to them.

As children and teenagers it's acceptable to have hobbies and interests purely for the sake of fun. It's okay to spend hours on arts, sports, games or anything else we want to do.

But about the age of 20 years old, something happens to all of us...

We seem to let our passions and interests fade as 'real life' takes over.Within a few years of our twenties, we end up living to work, and pay bills, rather than to do the things that bring us happiness.

It amazes how many thirty year olds I meet at social events who have no passions or interests outside work. They spend every night watching TV or on facebook, but rarely do anything that fills them with a sense of fun or engagement.

Is this just a reality of the world? Or is it laziness?

Personally, I think it's more laziness on our part that we let our hobbies and interests fade as we grow up. Or we think that others will disapprove if we do things just for fun, rather than to make money.

One person who I really admire for his passion is an online video-gamer named Seamus, who shares his passion for video games on his YouTube channel. What I really enjoy about his game playing is the way he does commentary all the way through, sharing his interests and opinions.

If you watch one of his LPs (Let's Play videos) you will definitely get a few laughs from what he has to say as he plays through each video game.

But what is amazing is that he does this completely for the love of playing video games. It isn't part of his job, or his career plan, it's just something he does because he enjoys it. To me, that willingness to put energy into a hobby (and to share it with others) is something that is missing from most people's lives.

And amazingly, because he enjoys doing it, a lot of other people enjoy watching him. Currently he has over 100,000 people who subscribe to his YouTube channel. That is exposure that most businesses would kill for. And yet SSoHPKC does it for a hobby.

So, my point is this: if you have (or had) a hobby that you enjoyed, then spend more time on it. Stop being lazy, and stop falling into the trap of being another boring adult.

Yes, your work and responsibilities are important, but they don't have to become your whole life. Take some time out during each day and do something just for the fun of it.

And if it feels a little silly, or if someone laughs at you for it, then tell them to go get a hobby!

Power through the people

2010-08-04T16:55:00.000-07:00

Want to know a way to accelerate your progress in any career?

Well, let me give you a little formula: Your success us determined by the amount of people you know, and who know you in a positive way.

This means that the more people you have as contacts, and are connected to, the more you’ll be able to access the people and resources you need to succeed.

Have you ever heard of the six degrees of separation theory?

In the late 1960’s a social scientist Stanley Milgram did a study where he gave six random people a letter addressed to a person whose address they didn’t have. He asked them to send it to the person who they guessed would have the highest chance of knowing how to reach that person. That person then sent the letter to the person they presumed would be most likely to know the addressee, and so on.

It turned out that once the letter had been through six people, it reached it’s destination each time. Hence the term 6 degrees of separation was born.

What this means is that anybody in the world is only about 6 people away from the person they need to know.

This is the exactly same for you... and you can use it to your advantage.

There are people out there who can speed up your success. Sometimes they are investors, teachers, customers, or just someone who can give you what you need.

Your goal should always be to meeting more people, so that you are closing the 6 degree gap faster and faster.

In fact, recent studies that take into account social media say we might actually already be getting closer to 3 degrees of separation. This makes it even easier to meet the people you need to!

My suggestion is try to meet one new person each week. And to do this, all you need to do is to start being more social. Just start saying ‘Hi’ to people randomly when you are near them.

Some of these people will talk back to you, and once you strike up a conversation, then you can simply say ‘Hey my name is..... what’s yours?'

I guarantee if you do this once a week, you will soon have a huge collection of new contacts. Some might lead nowhere, but one or two of them will start to connect you to other people who might be just the person you need to know.

Up and around the bend

2010-08-01T22:29:00.000-07:00

Your short-term thinking may be the reason you never seem to get ahead.

One of the most amazing things about people is that the way they think completely controls their life. Nobody I know can actually escape this rule.

Whether we know it or now, we’re all controlled by the thoughts we hold in our minds. The way we think either builds us up, or it tears us down. And one of the biggest traps that most people fall into is thinking in short time frames.

Most people think in one of three time frames:

One week or less

One month or less

One year or more

Where do you find you tend to fit?

If you find yourself waking up on Monday, wishing it was Friday, then you’re probably stuck thinking week-to-week. You probably get a high on Friday nights and a sense of dread on Sunday nights. (Don’t worry, you’re not alone... most people think just like you.)

Or maybe you’ve moved past that and now tend to think about getting through the month. You have to pay the mortgage and car payment, and have to get in those monthly reports. You have a few things you’re looking forward to in the coming weeks, as long as you can hold it all together until after the 30th.

Or perhaps you’re one of those rare people who actually thinks beyond the month’s end, and you plan out your year ahead. You focus on what you want to change and improve this year, and you slowly work towards it each week and each month.

Can you see the difference here?

I first learned this idea from Brian Tracy, who said that the rich and poor in society think in different time frames. The poorest people think from day to day as they try to survive. The middle class think paycheck to paycheck, while the richest people think long term. The rich don’t expect instant results, rather they plan long term and keep working until they get what they want.

The harsh truth is that people who get stuck in the weekly or monthly cycle is that they tend to live a smaller life. They can’t risk changing too much because they are on a treadmill. And it’s a treadmill that is created simply because they don’t bother to look further ahead.

So, how can YOU start to think longer term?

Well, the best way I know is to start to plan some long term goals for yourself. Take out a piece of paper and write 3 things that you would like to change and improve during the next year. Make your goals a challenge, but not completely unreachable. Make them things that if you achieve them, will make the year’s work worthwhile.

If you can’t come up with anything, then maybe look at other people around you who have, do or are what you’d like to be. And then use this as a guide to set your years goals.

Once you have your yearly plan, start to think about it each day. And change your mindset to look forward to what you want for the year.

And finally, when things don’t go your way this week, or this month, remember that it’s okay because you’re working towards something that will take a year to achieve. But it will be worth it!

Social Savvy

2009-12-30T14:54:00.000-08:00

Over the past few years, I’ve tried to figure out the key beliefs of those people I’ve met who have great social skills. And in this article, I wanted to share them with you.

One of the big things I learned about people who have social savvy is that they think very differently to those who don’t. In some cases it’s like they come from a different planet.

Now before we get started, I want to share one important idea with you. When I tell you about some of these ideas, you might disagree or feel unsure about how you can use them. My advice is to not worry about that, but just read through them and think about them. Maybe try to see how they might be true. If you can do that, you’ll be opening your mind to new possibilities.

Socially Savvy people give themselves permission to be popular

This is probably the idea that took me the longest to get a handle on. But the more you think about it, the more you can see it’s true. Anybody who has success in life has to first give him or herself permission to succeed. And it’s the exact same story in social situations.

In our society, we are raised to think that we must seek permission from others. First we seek it from parents, then teachers, then bosses and on and on. If we’re not aware of it, we can literally wait our whole lives just to get the permission we need to do what we want. Meanwhile all we had to do was give ourselves permission to succeed.

The truth is that other people don’t really care what you want, they only care about what they want. So if you’re waiting around for someone else to tell you it’s okay to start to having more social success, then you’re going to be waiting a long time!

I first learned this lesson from a good friend of mine. He wasn’t any more ‘gifted’ than I was in looks, personality or life experience. Yet he gave himself PERMISSION to be a socially successful person.

When I first used to watch him talk to new people, I used to get nervous at first because I thought it wasn’t ‘right’ to talk to people I didn’t know. I thought that it was rude to try to make conversation with strangers, and that they had to ‘give you the okay’ to talk to them first.

Of course, all I was really doing was denying myself permission to increase my social circle.

Do you ever do the same thing yourself? Do you wait for someone else to make eye contact with you, say something first, or ask you for something before you do?

If you do, then I challenge you to from now on to give yourself permission to meet new people, and make new friends. Give yourself permission to make the first move with people and see how often you can do it.

The next time you’re in a situation where you can meet someone, or make contact, then tell yourself ‘I am okay to do this’.

Socially savvy people actually see making friends as a fun challenge

Another big lesson I learned about socially savvy people is that they view the process of making friends as a fun and interesting challenge.

They don’t think of it as hard work, or embarrassing at all. They see it as a way to challenge themselves and expand their horizons. And because of this attitude, they tend to try to do it more often. And they keep trying to improve at it too.

Of course they still get nervous saying hello to people, but they know that this is the price to pay to get the friendships they want.

In your life, I’d wager that there are things that you are really good at already. If you think about these things, I’d bet that you view them as a challenge. You feel engaged whenever you’re involved in them. Time passes quickly and you feel energised after you’ve been involved in them.

For socially savvy people, this is the same feeling they get when meeting people. They’ve moved past thinking it’s boring or silly, or not important. They actually put effort into meeting people and connecting with others.

Socially savvy people are truly happy with their own lives

A lot of people who aren’t good with other people think that if they could only have more friends, then they’d be happy.

But the complete opposite is actually the truth.

If you make your life great and yourself happy and fulfilled FIRST, then you will begin to attract more interesting people around you. You’ll literally become like a social magnet, and people will want to spend time with you.

This is a really powerful lesson to get a handle on. If you can start to work on improving your own life and lifestyle first, it will really change your social life in a lot of ways.

Socially savvy people help other people make friends with each other

For the majority of people, they are so self conscious when meeting others that they don’t think about how anyone else might be feeling.

Socially Savvy people like to help other people have the same level of success they have. They spend a lot of their social time helping others to connect, as well as making new friends themselves.

By doing this, they are viewed as a leader in their social groups, and other people want to spend time with them.

Socially savvy people are 'generative'

This idea is a huge idea to get a handle on. Most of the people I know who have little or no social skills are not generative at all . They hold all their cards close their chest, they think only about themselves, and they don’t give to others in any way.

Socially savvy people are the complete opposite to this. They are willing and ready to share their lives with others. This includes sharing time, possessions, other friends.

It also means being a person who instigates things. Socially savvy people are the ones who invite everyone out, who throw parties, and get a special deal for everyone to get into the coolest new club for free.

In a word, they are generative. They are at cause in the world, rather than just being affected by the world. They are giving and creating new things for other people (and themselves) to enjoy.

Socially savvy people push the boundaries

This one might seem like a strange idea. But what I mean is that the people who have the most fun don’t just live in the same tiny box their whole life.

Socially savvy people are always looking for ways to have more fun, new experiences and meet new people.

They don’t wait for the world to give them something to do, they do something first and let the world (and other people) catch up.

Socially savvy people are also sometimes a little bit ‘cheeky’ and try to see how far they can go. They ask for special deals, they see if they can get more for themselves and their friends, and they always ask for everything they want.

Some people may see this as a little pushy, but remember that life is neutral. Nobody really cares if you succeed or fail, so if you want something, you’ve got to push for it. Socially savvy people know this and use it to their advantage.

It’s important here that you understand that I’m not saying you should become an arrogant or domineering person, but it is okay to ask for what you want and try to get better deal.

It’s also important to know that socially savvy people don’t always get what they want. Sometimes they get rejected, they have people turn them down, and they don’t get a better deal. But that doesn’t stop them trying again and again, and pushing their boundaries at every opportunity.

Socially savvy people share themselves with the world

Often people who are shy or who don’t have great social skills can tend to be very quiet. This isn’t a bad thing, however it can often cause other people to feel like they don’t really have much to go on.

One of the biggest challenges I had when I started getting better at socialising was actually talking about myself, my job, my life, etc.

I actually believed it was boring to talk about myself and that nobody would want to know about me. But the truth is that to have a conversation, you need both input and output. The person you are conversing with needs to know things about you to talk about too.

Socially savvy people are able to make the most of this, by ensuring they share themselves with other people. But they do this in a way where they share their best self with others.

It’s okay to share your thoughts and personal details with others, and it helps you to connect with others, so make sure you start doing this more in your everyday situations.

Socially savvy people don’t ‘lean’ on other people

While they do share themselves with the world, socially savvy also people know that it’s not good to ‘lean’ on people too much.

All of us have a level of energy in our personality, and when we dominate a conversation too much, we could be pushing our energy onto other people too much. It’s like we are leaning our physical weight on them.

We’ve all had the unfortunate experience of someone who is a total bore who keeps talking at us non-stop. It’s awkward and annoying and you find yourself trying to get away from them.

If you want to be more socially savvy, remember not to lean on other people. Be balanced and interesting in your conversations. Don’t be an emotional drain on others by dominating them or trying to suck the life out of them.

Socially Savvy people don’t seek the approval of others

As much as socially savvy people enjoy being around others and socialising, they don’t ‘need’ the company or approval of those they hang around. They actually are quite comfortable on their own, and enjoy a healthy balance of solitude at times too.

Further than this, socially savvy people don’t spend their whole time with others bragging or trying to impress other people. They don’t need the approval of others to feel good about who they are. Rather they focus on enjoying the moment together, having fun experiences and getting to know other people.

What do YOU think of this list? Is it what you expected to read? Well hopefully a few of these ideas are things you can agree or relate to, and maybe others are things you'd like to experiment with. Give them a try and comment below to let me know what results you gain.

Following the Followers

2009-06-18T18:31:00.000-07:00

One of the toughest realisations that we have to make in life is that few (if any) of our thoughts are truly, uniquely our own.

Everything we think, do, say and believe is actually the product of our surroundings; and more specifically the people we surround ourselves with. We learn by copying those around us, and this is not always a great thing. The more you think about anything you think, do or say, you will eventually agree you gained the idea from someone, somewhere, at some time in your life.

Of course, the real tragedy of life, is that many people never become conscious of this fact, and just how much they are a product of their surroundings. Many of us live in a kind of half-consciousness, simply following the lead of the person in front of us.

Earl Nightingale – often called the Dean of Personal Development, has discussed this idea at length. He said that while most people believe they are truly living their own life, they are in fact actually copying someone else’s life. He claims that most people aren’t in fact following the leaders in life, they are actually following the followers.

Most people don’t take the time to really assess who they are following. Rather they just fall into step with those by whom they are surrounded. And in doing this, they miss the chance to choose to follow more appropriate people, the real leaders in life. They miss the chance to create a greater life for themselves and their family.

Now, while many people may never be conscious of this fact, you do have the opportunity to choose. Being conscious of what you think, how you behave and deciding how you want your life to turn out is a powerful step in your personal evolution.

Perhaps it is worthwhile taking a few of your precious deep held beliefs back to their source. Really evaluate whether the idea suits you and your current life. You might be amazed that most of the power you seek is trapped behind some outdated belief that somebody gave you years ago.

Stop, collaborate and... succeed!

2009-05-01T18:43:00.000-07:00

If you’re not getting what you want, perhaps you need a little help from someone else.

Most successful people seem to give off the impression that they are somehow self-made. It appears that from the outside looking in that these people are just super-human achievers who let no obstacle hold them back. They seem to know which way to turn and have all the right answers at the right times.

Yet the reality is very, very different, and any truly successful person will tell you this if you ask them. We can only rise as high as the people around us can help us to rise. We are, whether we like it or not, obliged to collaborate with others if we want to reach the higher levels of success in life.

For some of us, learning to work with others, and being part of a team is a challenge. For me personally, I have struggled at times with the desire to simply try to do it all myself. Yet after a periods of frustration you realise that life is too short, and the challenges too great to try to make it all on your own.

Napoleon Hill in his landmark tome The Law of Success said it best: “To achieve success, we must first develop power, and power is developed only through organized effort”.

Organised effort is the very stuff life is made of. Think of it this way: a child can’t be born without the collaboration of a man and woman. And this truth extends into every area of life. Every nation, every monument, every business is the result of people with a shared vision working together.

In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey also shares this idea. He labels it as ‘synergizing’, and discusses at great length how the only path to true and lasting success and fulfilment is through collaboration with other people.

Here are some great points to consider about collaborating with others:

- When you collaborate with others, you gain huge leverage from their knowledge, their contacts and their efforts. You may save a huge amount of time simply by asking other people what they could do, or know about that could help.

- Your enthusiasm for any job or task grows, as you are no longer simply working for selfish reasons. Rather you are working towards a shared vision, and that is very motivating.

- By collaborating you move above and beyond your own potential level, to a greater one. Whether you’ll admit it or not, you do have limitations within yourself that will keep you at a certain level in life. Yet by joining forces with others, you gain strengths that you could never gain on your own. And because of this, your potential for success grows exponentially.

- The most challenging part of collaborating with others is learning to communicate and manage your own personality. Once you start to get a handle on being a skilled communicator, you will find your life becomes much easier.

- Remember that you must look for opportunities to collaborate with others, and to ask other people for help on things you want to achieve. Most people in life are just begging for a great opportunity to achieve something in their lives, and if you have a goal or an idea you think they could help with, then share it with them.

So for all those people who are defiantly independent and determined to make it on your own, perhaps it’s time to admit that when you choose to share your work with other people, amazing things can happen.

‘Plan B’

2009-03-08T03:37:00.000-07:00

What do you do when things don’t go to plan??

In life you’ll often find that your best laid plans don’t work out exactly as you intend. After all, planning is basically our attempt to somehow control and direct the future. And even though we might have a clear vision of what we want, the future is always changing and evolving, sometimes not in the way we had hoped.

So what can you do when your best laid plans don’t work out? What happens when the company you committed yourself to for 5 years suddenly downsizes, or the relationship you thought was forever disintegrates?Well, the only thing you can do is go to Plan B.

Yet often the hardest thing to do when you’ve just been through a tough setback is to try to plan out what to do next. You’re hurting emotionally, and you’re probably completely de-motivated. Still, if you’re serious about achieving what you want, then you must eventually start over. And here are some tips to help you along the way:

- Accept that your initial plans didn’t work out. For whatever the reason, the things you hoped would happen haven’t worked out. So, the best thing you can do is to accept it and move on. This is easier said than done, but the more you keep telling yourself you must accept it, the more chance you have of moving onto a bigger and better success.

- Realise that you still have YOU. Despite being setback financially, or time wise, you still have your most important asset: yourself. You still have within you all the same potential you’ve always had, and more importantly you have the knowledge that comes from having been through a tough experience.

- Look for the lesson, and find the gold. It seems a funny thing in life that we often repeatedly come up against a particular type of challenge until we learn from it. Generally the lesson we need to learn is something about ourselves, and it’s a tough one. So when you look back at your foiled plans, what is the lesson within? What can you adjust about yourself for next time? Remember that in order to find the gold, you have to dig deep into the mine. Somewhere inside the setback is the lesson you need to move to the next level.

- Give yourself recovery time. Each of us needs some time after a setback to get back to normal. We can’t perform at optimum if we have just been bruised emotionally or financially. In the game of poker there is a term known as going ‘on tilt’. This means that after losing a big hand, it takes the player some time to re-adjust their mind to accept they have just lost an amount of money. Usually their adrenaline is higher, and their mind is not clear. Often this can cause them to start playing more aggressively or haphazardly to recover their loss. Top poker players know that after a tough beat, they need to lay low for a few hands and let themselves recover.

After a setback in your life, you’ll need to do the same. Don’t just jump into the next best thing you find to try to recover your loss. Take the time to think things through and take a wise next step.

- Go back to the fundamentals. In every business, and indeed in any type of endeavour, there are basic fundamentals that you need to know. Often, as we start to gain success in something we can forget the fundamentals that got us started and created our initial success. In times when you have a setback, it can be a good idea to revisit the fundamentals that gained you early success. Often refocussing your efforts on the simple important tasks can gain you more success than a bag full of elaborate tricks.

- Help someone else get back on track. You may be surprised by this final tip, as it’s a counterintuitive way to make yourself feel re-inspired. However, if you are feeling beaten by life, then try helping someone else to succeed in their life for a while, and I guarantee it will revive your spirit. Life after all, isn’t a solo effort, it’s an ensemble. The old adage is true: if you help enough other people get what they want, you can’t help but get what you want.

Remember that no matter how tough things seem right now, there is always someone else doing it tougher. So be resilient and get yourself back on track to your goals!

Everything You Need to Succeed…

2009-02-27T12:41:00.000-08:00

So often when we look for happiness or the “missing ingredients” in our lives, we look outside ourselves. We tend to believe that if we just keep looking long enough, learning and searching further, that we will eventually find the one thing, the key, the secret that will finally set us free.

And while there is nothing wrong with being on a search in life, I think often we become too obsessed with the search and forget the most important fact of all. And that is the fact that ‘everything you need to succeed is already inside of you.’

What this means is that feelings you’d like to experience once you achieve success are already available to you right now. You can actually feel as happy and fulfilled as you like right now, as long as you realize you have the ability to.

In his famous book Man’s Search for Meaning, Victor Frankl, talks frankly about his experiences as a Nazi concentration camp survivor. What Frankl discovered was that even amid the atrocities around him, he could choose the way that he thought, and through his thinking, he could actually empower himself to get through it and survive. The circumstances could only affect him as much as he chose to let them.

This is a very powerful lesson to remember whenever you feel that life is bringing you down. Remember that you have the power inside of you to choose how you think and feel, and that you can summon any emotion and thought you like in the moment. If you’re waiting for a certain level of success to feel happy, then try feeling happy NOW and you may find the success starts to happen by itself.

Another way to think about this concept is in regards to your hidden potential. Very often when we want to achieve something new, we feel that we need more qualifications, more experience, more time to master skills or meet the right people. Of course these things are important, yet most important is inner belief that you can achieve it.

Often we forget that we have massive potential inside, and that everything we need to succeed already lays dormant inside ourselves.

It's a lot like the story of the artist Michaelangelo when he created the famous statue of David. When asked how he managed to carve such an amazing, powerful image from a single block of marble, Michaelangelo replied "I just chipped away everything that was NOT David."

I like this analogy because it's very true of life; we all have the potential buried deep inside, yet the 'block' around us is our own past beliefs that we need to chip off.

So, whenever you want to achieve something new, instead of immediately looking outside to 'find success', you may simply need to chip away all the parts of you that aren't what you want to be anymore. Then you are free to succeed, and enjoy life the way you want to.

You Asked For It!

2009-01-22T19:59:00.000-08:00

How often do you ask for things you want in your life? Would you say you are comfortable asking other people for help, special treatment, or something you really want?

Many people work very hard in their life, waiting for a break that often doesn’t come. Many others believe its ‘not polite’ to ask for things directly, and that you should instead wait until they are offered. These people, while well intentioned, are really giving themselves a bad deal.

Asking for things will gain you more financial and relationship success, and also a ton of discounts and special treatment. However the catch is, you've got to do the asking!

"The world belongs to the asker."

I remember hearing that statement at a motivational seminar when I was only 15 years old. The name of the speaker and the topic of the talk have been long forgotten, but the truth of that statement has stayed with me.

Think about it: how much MORE could you gain in life by simply asking for what you want? And what is the reason most people don’t ask? Put simply, they fear the rejection.

To avoid the fear of rejection, so many people build 'rational' boundaries around themselves. They lower their asking habit to near non-existence, and as a result they work incredibly hard – often for no greater gain – hoping that what they want will somehow come to them.

Yet for a small group of people success is simple; they just ask for it. And they keep on asking. To get what you want out of life, try doing as so many successful folk do, ask for what you want, and then follow up to ensure it happens for you.

You can learn to ask for what you want. It just takes a little courage, and a lot of practice. Here are some tips to help you on your way:

- Build a relationship first. Whenever possible, create a rapport before you start asking for something. People are much more open to the requests of people they like, than to those who are complete strangers.

- Be polite, and respectful of the other persons position. Dont just make ridiculous or obnoxious requests to people who don't have the power to help you. Take the time to consider who is the best person to ask for what you want.

- Consider the value exchange. Are you offering anything in return? Even if you can't do something in return right now, be conscious that you should try to give back to those who agree to your requests.

- Detach from the outcome. Don't sweat on the result of what you're asking for as if it's your only option. Even if what you're asking for doesn't materialise, shrug it off, and focus on the next opportunity to ask again.

- Have fun with it. Don't make asking for what you want a serious, drawn out experience. Wherever possible, be a little light-hearted, sometimes perhaps a little cheeky in your asking. You'll be suprised how much a lighter, playful tone can help a person agree to what you want!

Finally, put aside those childhood hang-ups that it's "not polite to ask". Forget about feeling hurt or rejected if you are told no. How much can the world 'No' really hurt you? Realise that there's always another opportunity just around the corner, and try again!

After all, if you do not ask you will never know. And in the wise words of Dolf De Roos: "A 'No' you've got, a 'Yes' you may get".

Six Types of Success

2009-01-06T15:09:00.000-08:00

Recently I've been doing some thinking about the topic of success and fulfillment, and it occurred to me that there are basically six unique ways of viewing success. Each person probably cannot fit into one neat category, rather we will each be a blend of a few of them. yet it is interesting to see which is closest to your worldview.

Here are the six types of success, as I see them:

1) Puritan – work as hard as possible to prove yourself as ‘worthy’.

People who follow the puritan mindest were often raised in an environment where they had to continually prove themselves, or had to keep living up to certain standards.

2) Materialistic – gain as much luxury and status as possible.

A vast majority of people in Western society become 'sold' on the material view of success very early in life. Media and society seems to promote and almost worship those individuals who have a great deal of money or possessions.

3) Power – gain as much control as possible.

Similar to the material view, the power view wants to control and be the person who chooses. Of course, we are all completely free to choose how we live, yet some people view gaining power/control over others, such as in a managers role at work.

4) Spiritual – detach from the ‘temptations’ of life and transcend the present.

Some people choose to reverse the material/power view of the world and go for a more pious view of life. They choose to resist or withdraw their desires for material gratification, instead choosing to be connected to rewards in the spiritual realm.

5) Contributor – create a better world for other people and future generations.

Those people who feel a drive to contribute to the world are the ones who tend to really make a difference. It doesnt have to be on a world scale, it can simply be the desire to help people through their everyday struggles. For some people, being able to give back is the most rewarding way to live.

6) Escapist – have as much fun and as many peak experiences as possible.

Finally, there are those that believe that life is simply one big experience; our time on earth is meant to lived to the fullest and we are meant to 'live deep and suck out all the marrow of life', as Thoreu famously espoused. These types of people are always searching for fun, for experience and for the next thing to get them excited.

Which of the six is closest to your view of the world? What factors have influenced you to take on your current lifestyle? These are important things to think about, as the way you view success will greatly affect how much you actually achieve, and whether the things you achieve are actually worthwhile for you.

Stress Less

2009-01-05T19:03:00.000-08:00

Brian Tracy is famous for his comment that failures do what is 'tension relieving', while winners do what is 'goal achieving'. While we all like to be winners rather than losers, I believe that a truly successful person learns to strike a balance between the two polarities.

The challenge in modern life seems to be balancing the amount of goal achieving activities with relieving tension. How do you find time to achieve all you want to, while not stressing yourself half to death?

In this article, I'd like to share eight simple ideas that can help you in the short and long term to relieve stress and help you stay on track with your goals.

1) Choose Optimism

Most people don’t acknowledge how much the way they see the world has an effect on their stress levels. Whether you realise it or not, pessimism and negative self-talk can cause you significant amounts of stress over the course of your life.

Of course, the way you see the world is truly up to you. You can see situations as threats or challenges, as beneficial or negative, as stressful or exciting.

With work and focus, your point of view can be changed. You might be suprised how much less stressed you would be if you omitted those self-defeating thought patterns.

2) Get Some Shut Eye

Being sleep deprived can be either a cause and/or an effect of being stressed. Too much stress can keep you up at night, while trying to operate on too few hours of sleep can make you less productive, more emotional, and more reactive to stressful events in your life.

Be sure to get at least 6 to 8 good restful hours of sleep each night. Discpline yourself to turn in about 10pm each night and you will wake up bright and fresh at 6am! It can be a habit to form, but it is rewarding once you get used to it. (If you feel you really need a sleep in, then use the weekends to get those extra hours.)

3) Have a Hobby

In our school years we were all involved in sports and fun activities, yet as working adults we can tend to let our hobbies and fun activities lapse. It is very important to keep learning, growing, and doing things you enjoy throughout your adult life, and having a regular hobby can provide a necessary outlet for mental stimulation and stress relief, and help you maintain a balanced lifestyle.

All work and no play can makes everyone a dull boy or girl, so be sure to block off time for your hobbies a few times a week. Taking care of yourself in this way can be an important step toward living the life you want to be living.

4) Build Your Social Circle

Humans are naturally social creatures, and the company we choose to keep has a huge impact on the quality of our lives. Good friends and close family celebrate with us during our good times and support us through our tough times. A strong social network of healthy relationships can be a buffer against stress and provide many other benefits.

You can strongly improve your quality of life by seeking out healthy new friendships, improving the relationships you already have, and letting go of relationships that drain you.

5) Cull Your Clutter

Living in an environment of chaos will create stress. We've all had the feeling of being overloaded by clutter, disorganized with our schedule, or carrying excess emotional baggage; it makes you feel scattered and reduces your mental resources. It's amazing how much clutter can rob us of our time (looking for keys and misplaced items), our money (paying late fees on bills we can’t find) and our peace of mind (cluttered spaces can actually drain your energy without you even realizing it).

Disciplining yourself to keep a reasonably tidy environment pays dividends. Invest in your peace of mind by becoming more organized with your time, giving away things you don’t need and maintaining your home at a neat and tidy level.

6) Create a Soundtrack to Your Life

Maybe all those millions of people with Ipods plugged into their ears are onto something... Listening to music is a simple and easy way to elevate your mood and rechange your energy levels. You can play music in your car during your commute to feel less stressed as you drive, or put music on as you exercise to infuse some extra oomf into your workout. You can even have music on in the background as you go about your day, bringing a more soothing and uplifting feel to a whole host of your daily activities.

If you're not a big music fan or don't already have your own favourite music, then perhaps try listening to some calming classical music, or some chillout tunes and see for yourself if you feel any better.

7) Have Quick Fix & Long-Term Stress Relief Practices

There are really two types of stress relief we can employ, and both are beneficial when used in the right way.

Quick-Fix: Sometimes stressful situations seem to build up quickly, and we go from feeling fine to overwhelmed in a very short period of time. When this happens, you can't really just stop your life to go practice yoga, get a massage, etc. Instead you have to have quick and effective ways to low down your fight or flight response. Take several deep breaths, take a time-out for 10 minutes from the situation, take a refreshing drink of water, getting a bit of quick physical exercise, will all help you temporarily relieve stress.

Long Term: The small stresses we experience can build up on us if we dont have long term stress relievers built into our life. Exercise, hobbies, socialising and personal development are all great examples of long term stress relievers. Pick one or two (or five!) to help you relieve stress on a long term level.

8) Have a Road Map for the Future

Some people claim that life can only be lived in the moment, yet there’s a big difference between being present in your life and feeling so stressed that you can only think about the end of the day.

Do you have a plan for your future in place? Are you expressing you true desires in life as much as you’d like to? Are you on the path to where you’d really like to be in life?

It’s a good idea to have a 3-5-year long term vision and even a 12-month plan for your personal life. This doesn’t mean a set-in-stone blueprint, but a idea of where you’d like to be in the future so you can move in that direction.

Of course, you can take goals and planning to an extreme too; remember that while achievement in life is fulfilling in the short term, there will always be another horizon past your current one. So be sure to take time to enjoy the journey as well.

In Conclusion

Use these 8 ideas to help you move into a more relaxed and stress free lifestyle. Choose one or two of the ideas to try out this week, and if they work, continue to practice them as habits. The more things you do to invest in reducing stress, the better you will perform. And maybe you can actually balance being both 'goal achieving' and 'tension relieving'.

If you can’t fix it, feature it!

2008-11-28T22:16:00.000-08:00

How often in life are you pre-occupied with trying to reduce or eradicate a weakness or a fault you have? How much time do you spend wishing you were more like someone else, and less like yourself?

What if, instead of thinking of these things as faults, you saw them as advantages, as the things that make you unique?

If you look at any person who is highly successful in their field, very often it is because they are capitalizing on their unique talents – many of which you could also view as a form of hindrance or drawback.

Here are some great examples:

Bill Gates: a life-long techno-geek who is unashamedly passionate about making computers for the world. He has used his vision of putting a computer on every desk to make himself wildly successful.

Christopher Walken: a gangly actor who uses his strained voice to amazing effect in moves.

Oprah Winfrey: a television personality who has publicly shared her personal challenges with weight loss and racial discrimination to make her loved by millions of fans worldwide.

Richard Branson: using his lack of formal education to an advantage, Sir Richard doesn’t seem to get stuck in the mire of conventional business models. Instead he tends to pioneer new business ideas and break barriers through his unique approach.

Can you imagine any of these people with their ‘edges taken off’? Would they reach the same level of success if they worked on 'fitting in' instead of using their natural talents and traits?

How can you use this concept in your own life?

Take some time to look at anything you might view as a weakness, or something you believe is holding you back. Is it really a weakness, or can it be used in some unique way to stand out from the crowd?

My guess is that you have at least a couple of unique idiosyncrasies about you that could actually be a goldmine for you . The more you view these traits as your inner gold, the more you can grow and develop them.

And most of all, it sure beats beating yourself up for something you can't change about yourself!

Info-Junk

2008-11-19T20:27:00.000-08:00

Modern society has become seemingly obsessed with news and media, and we get literally bombarded by voices and images non-stop. Some experts tell us we receive up to 3000 messages a day, and most of it is at an unconscious level.

Unfortunately literally 90% of news is delivered with a pessimistic or negative slant. For example, you never hear stories about 97% employment, you only hear about 3% unemployment. You never hear that 499 people luckily escaped a tragic plane crash, only that one person died.

If you take the time to review the messages in the world around you, you can see that most of it is not actually that useful to the functioning of your everyday life. Most of the news and media we experience is basically information that is superfluous to us as individuals, which is a nice way of saying it’s not really our business.

What this means is that we are constantly getting fed a supply of negative, pessimistic and basically useless info-junk that only brings our world view down. It makes us see the world as a dangerous, mean-spirited place, where we need to constantly guard against other people.

I remember several years ago taking my first trip to New York City. I was excited to go, but because of my years of being conditioned by the media, I was convinced that I would either be robbed, mugged or pickpocketed at least once on my trip. On arrival, I took every caution I could, and after a day of visiting the city I realized I'd been hoodwinked. Everyone there was just as nice as everywhere else, and I had been fooled into believing negative hype. In fact, I made some great friends there that I still see to this day.

The point is that you have to guard against what goes into your head. And the number one way to do this is switch off 90% of the news and media around you. Refuse to watch news programs or read newspapers. Instead take a daily 2 minute glance at the news reports online. Sites like Google News are great for this because they give you headlines without going into depth about stories that you don’t need to know. In essence you get a brief, balanced view of world events, without all the info-junk.

If you're game, try this experiment for a week or two and see if you feel any better. Most people who try this tell me they find it hard to cut the ties to their daily news and celebrity gossip addiction. But after a few weeks, their mind feels clearer and they feel more optimistic as well.

Life On Purpose

2008-11-16T15:33:00.000-08:00

Are you seeking to find your purpose in life?

People who feel they have a clear purpose are much more engaged in their lives, and have a sense of power and fulfillment beyond their everyday existence.

Deciding on a purpose for yourself is a lot like developing a mission statement for a company. It can be a challenging task to undertake, and a lot of time needs to go into it to get it just right. A clear purpose encompasses all aspects of your life, and ensures you are attaching yourself to something bigger than just your own personal needs.

Often when we think of purpose, we can tend to relate it to religion or spiritual people such as the Dalai Lama, Mother Teresa, Gandhi, etc. Yet a normal person can also develop a sense of purpose if they desire it. Often you don’t desire to understand your sense of purpose until you have met your basic needs in life, as defined by Abraham Maslow in the Hierarchy of Needs. The desire for purpose is a self-actualization need, and will be driven by our ‘wanting more’ than the basics in life.

Not everybody desires to reach a purpose-driven life stance, yet it may be beneficial to explore if it is something that you think could benefit you.

If you wish to explore your life path/purpose here's an exercise you can start with to help. Try it when you can set aside an hour for some quiet, contemplative thought.

- Think back on times in your life where you felt ‘fully alive’ and engaged – what were the key elements behind the actions? Can you define them?

- If you had every material and emotional need fulfilled already in your life, what would you want then? What would be left to ‘live for’ once you had everything you wanted?

- If you could leave your mark on the world, what do you think it could be?

Using these questions, you will likely have similar ideas/concepts/themes showing up. Try to use these questions to create a clearer picture of what you really value, and what will really fulfill you. Using these words as your guide, complete these two sentences:

“My main purpose in life is to….”
“The way I make this happen is by…”

Keep working on these two sentences until you get a nice succinct clear statement that you can live by. This may take you two hours, two days or maybe two years, but take the time it takes to get a real statement that is true for you.

Once you have it clear, try it out. Live with your purpose and try to align your actions and goals to it. You'll soon find if you're on track or whether you need more work to get it clear.

How Embarrassment!

2008-11-01T18:39:00.000-07:00

One of the uniquely human experiences we all suffer at one time or another is the feeling of embarrassment. It's that feeling that we have done or said something kinda foolish in front of other people, and we start to chastise or ridicule ourselves internally.

For some of us, much of our lives seem to be a big worry about not doing something to embarrass ourselves. For others, it seems this sense of embarrassment isn't such a big thing. So what is the difference between those who get easily embarrassed and those who shrug it off and keep going?

Well, like a lot of things, it comes down to our reactions. Both the way we respond internally, with our self talk, and externally to the world around us.

If you tend to feel a sense of embarrassment easily, usually its because you are using your self-talk to constantly judge yourself against ridiculously high standards. You tend to think that you are not able to make a mistake, or that you must do everything in a flawless way everytime. And you probably think that others think this about you too.

Yet the reality is that most people don't even notice when you do something embarrassing; and if they do notice, instead of ridiculing you, they usually feel sorry for you, and want to move past the situation as soon as possible.

Think about this: if a good friend did something highly embarrassing, wouldn't you tell them not to worry about it, and then move on from it? Would you let them 'off the hook' straight away? I think you'll find that in most cases this is exactly what you would do for a friend.

Take this a step further, and you'll realize you will also likely react this way for almost anybody out there in the world you might witness do something embarrassing. You don't make a big deal out of their mistakes, rather you down play it, and try to smooth the situation over so they can save face.

Well, guess what? Everyone else thinks this way about you too! So therefore, very often the only reason we feel major embarrassment is because we pay ourselves out for it after the event, instead of letting it go.

One more point to consider: having humility and admitting a mistake immediately after an event is the best way to move past it. Doing this stops the awkwardness from spreading, and lets you learn from the situation immediately.

Try it out next time you feel embarrassed about something: quickly admit the mistake, and then let yourself off the hook.

NB. If you think some situations are hard to recover from, check out this amazing recovery from Robbie Williams at his Leeds concert. This is humility and self-recovery on a grand scale!

What are you worth?

2008-10-16T19:51:00.000-07:00

For most people, success is basically defined as having a large salary to live off. If you earn above, say $50,000 a year, in most countries around the world you are deemed to be quite well off. In essence, you can get access to the credit to live a life that is ‘up to par’ and you are successful.

Yet this way of thinking is in fact, a trap. Thinking and living in this way begins a cycle that eventually makes you a slave to your job or career, chasing mortgage payments and credit card payments each month.

The people who are truly wealthy are those who don’t focus on salary, but on their net worth.

What is net worth? It is basically the dollar amount you could get for everything you own: your investments, your home, your car, your business, your possessions. It is also the amount with which you can cushion yourself comfortably should you ever have to stop working.

Look closely at anyone who has built a considerable fortune and they have done it through things other than their weekly or monthly salary. They do it through a business, or stock or real estate investments. They slowly build a ‘nest egg’ that pays them much more in dividends than a salary ever could. And best of all, they don’t have to work 5 days a week to earn it!

Of course, building net worth takes a lot more discipline than simply living week-to-week on your salary, even if it is a reasonably high one. It requires putting an amount aside that can grow into enough money to invest. Once that investment is growing by itself, starting another savings amount to do it again.

Here’s an idea for you: next time you think you need a payrise, instead think about how you can build your net worth. Look at ways to build long term wealth, and the day-to-day will take care of itself.

“Wealthy people are not smarter than poor people, they just have different and more supportive money habits”.

– T. Harv Eker

Becoming Indispensible

2008-10-13T02:48:00.000-07:00

If we're totally truthful about it, there probably isn’t a job in the world today that is 100% secure. If you have a job, there are countless reasons why you could lose it. Despite this, there remains one form of real security that you can develop that goes beyond any one job or career.

What is the key to being indispensible? Two words: adding value.

When most people go looking for a job, they begin by thinking about how their qualifications and experience will ‘get them in the door’. Then once they have the job, they start thinking in terms of what the role will offer them. What’s the salary like? What hours do you have to work? What is the boss like?

Most people never ask themselves the one question that will keep them employed (and very well paid) all the years of their career:

“What can I do today to increase my service to the people I serve?”

It sounds like a simple question, yet there is an endless array of ways you can answer that question. And when you come up with a decent answer, begin right away to act upon your idea.

If you practice this routine each morning when you start work, soon you will find yourself rising through the ranks, and sailing through the stormy waters of economic downturn.

“No matter what a person’s job happens to be at this moment, it is loaded with opportunity – if he will just looks for it! If he will think about his work, and constantly come up with ways to improve, become better at it, in an almost unbelievably short time he will become practically indispensable.”

– Earl Nightingale

Leverage your Learning

2008-10-09T15:12:00.000-07:00

I'm not a coach known for rampant product placement, yet I believe that I've come across someting truly unique here that I wanted to spread the word about.

As a coach, I am constantly looking for ways to leverage my learning and gain as much new insight as I can, so that I can then share it with others.

Recently I've had the good fortune to read through the 50 Classics series of books authored by Tom Butler-Bowdon. Tom's five books review and summarise the greatest books from the Self-Help, Spirituality and Psychology world and are incredibly valuable resources.

If you're interested in beginning to read in the self-help and personal development genre, then this is perhaps the best starting point possible. Or if you're a seasoned self-helper, this collection will give you huge leaps forward in knowledge.

Tom has provided an incredibly balanced view of each of the titles, and how they interrelate and influence each other. Perhaps the greatest value of these books is in the time you can save in reading 50 books in one, and then going onto expanded reading as you choose.

Do yourself a favour and take a look over the 50 Classics series; there is simply no better resource out there for getting started on improving the quality of your life.

Thrifty Business

2008-09-02T13:23:00.000-07:00

It's not how much money you make, rather how much you keep.

Recently there have been quite a few news stories about the slowing down of economies around the world. And while this news usually makes us all feel a little worried and powerless, there is one thing we can do to help ourselves get through the tough times. It's a long forgotten skill that the older generations perfected during the Great Depression era: the art of thrifty living.

Being a thrifty person means tightening the purse strings and holding onto more of the money you make each day, week, month and year. The philosophy of this way of life is that it's not how much money you make, but how much you keep that matters most.

In our consumerist, spendthrift society, it can be difficult to avoid getting caught up in wild spending cycles. We are constantly bombarded with new products and services that seems so appealing and affordable right now. For many of us, we begin each new paycheck period with the intention of saving a portion of it, yet very often we end up with more week (or month) left over than we have money.

Generally the money we intend to save trickles away in small purchases that we hardly even notice, such as snack foods, forgettable entertainment, bargain items, and other temptations that come into our periphery. A key to keeping more of your money is to be highly conscious of when and how you spend it.

So, in the spirit of former generations and their long-lost art of thriftiness, here are some excellent ideas to help you keep more dollars in your pocket for the long term:

1) Get clear on how much money you need to live comfortably each month. Take the time to really understand what your lifestyle costs you, and how it is divided up. Just having a clear view of this will start to make you more conscious of any superfluous spending habits.

2) Make a list of items you really want for yourself. It's okay to want to have and do nice things; and by keeping a definitive list of your wants, you'll find that you tend to save up your money for them, instead of blowing it on smaller trivial items. Read through the list once a week to be really clear on what you are saving your money for.

3) Put 20% aside for the future. This is a steep amount for some people to try to save, so if it is not possible right now, perhaps start with 5% or 10% and build from there. A great goal is to try to save 20% of your money long term, and get it growing at 20% a year. This means that every 5 years your savings will double!

4) Shop around when you are ready to buy. Whenever you are ready to purchase something, do a little research to see if you can save 10% or so on the purchase price. Or look for interest-free payment options that lessen the amount you pay up front. There are scores of websites running that give you amazing price-comparison on virtually any product or service.

5) Think outside the box. In our consumerist society it can be easy to always buy in the easiest, most convenient way. Yet by thinking through your purchases you can very often find unique or unconventional ways to save yourself a lot of money. Here are some examples:

- sharing CD's, games, movies between friends or a library
- having a dinner (or house) party instead of going out
- holidaying outside of conventional holiday seasons
- buying brand name products on eBay
- trading/swapping unwanted possessions on craigslist or eswap

6) Value your money today. Probably the most important key to understand about thriftiness is that it places a high value on keeping your money now. A dollar in your pocket (i.e. saved and invested) today is worth more than a dollar in your pocket tomorrow. What you save and invest now is most important for your long term wealth and security.

In times of economic downturn, retaining more of the money you earn will empower you and make you feel more in control of your life. So take the time to think through your financial habits today, and resolve to try a little thrifty living for yourself.

Walking the Talk

2008-06-25T15:37:00.000-07:00

Several days ago I had the interesting experience of being interviewed to work with a new company. While the interview was a fairly simple and straightforward affair, I had to admit to myself that I was quite nervous going into it.

The nervousness I felt really surprised me, as having coached many people on how to do well in interviews, I figured I'd have it all down pat. Afterwards, I even felt embarrassed and a bit disappointed in myself, because despite my experiences a coach I didn't 'have it all together'. In essence, I felt the same feelings a lot of the people I work with feel everyday.

Since then, I've spent quite a few hours deliberating on whether to add this entry to this blog, as very often the outside perception of what it means to be a coach is very idealised. All coaches have a bio that tells about how great we are, how many years we've spent training, and what impact we make in the world. In a sense, this is how we create a kind of halo effect about being a coach.

One of the ironic things about being a coach, is that very often we don't have to 'walk the talk' on a daily basis. Assisting someone else to be more confident, to succeed in business, or to improve a relationship is a great role to play, yet its still a step removed (and safe) from having to do it.

In my coaching career, I have had the good fortune (and sometimes misfortune) to be exposed to a lot of different self-help gurus, coaches, speakers, trainers and everything in between. Very often these people are so hyped up on their own message that it feels like they aren't real people anymore; they've started to believe their own coaching bio. They are, as David Wood once said, like 'a cardboard cutout'.

If I am honest with myself, the interview experience made me see that my cardboard cutout persona had taken over a little bit: I was believing that because I coached people I was somehow immune to being a person. Frankly, that is bullshit, and I am glad for the reality check I got.

Often it just takes walking some of the talk to bring you back to what it feels like to be on the other side of the coaching session. And I applaud you all for your courage to be on that side.

The Big Four

2008-06-16T19:43:00.000-07:00

Recently I had the good fortune to pick up a copy of Marshall Goldsmith's excellent book 'What Got You Here Won't Get You There'.

It's a highly insightful look into the minds of many of the worlds top business achievers, and I gained a great deal from it. In fact, I could probably fill another 20 pages describing all the value I gained from it! For now, however, here's one nugget of wisdom...

One of the key ideas that really stuck with me, was what Marshall described as four most common goals his clients really want out of their working life. They are:

1) Money 2) Power 3) Status 4) Popularity

Doesn't sound like what most people tell you they are after, does it? But if you dig a little deeper, I think you'll find its exactly what we are all after. Me personally, I tend to want power and popularity the most, then money, then status. I guess it makes me sound shallow in a way, but hey, that's the truth!

Now, The Big Four may not necessarily be in that order for you personally, yet its highly likely that if you are a career minded ambitious person, that you spend quite a bit of time seeking one or two, if not all four of these elusive goals.

If you already have a list of goals, then review them to see how many fall into the category of The Big Four, especially in the area of career. And don't be embarrassed about seeking them: be clear that achieving them will enrich your life.

In life it is very important to be honest about what you want, and clear on the ways you want to get it; and having 'The Big Four' right in front of you might make it easier to find what you're seeking. I know it did for me.

Thanks Marshall!

You Got Served!

2008-04-19T16:10:00.000-07:00

Like many people around the world, I've recently became enamored with the books, TV shows and personality of chef extraordinaire Gordon Ramsay. It seems that his tough-love approach to the culinary arts and his business is winning him a lot of fans worldwide.

And it got me to thinking: most of us could use a little 'Ramsay treatment' in our own day-to-day lives. We could all benefit from someone by our side, telling us where we are messing up, and urging us to solve it as quick as possible.

Of course, the method in Ramsay's blunt-edged style seems to be his drive to make everyone be the very best they can be. He puts them under immense pressure, and he creates diamonds from coal. And its a simple idea that we all can really use as a driving theme in our lives.

Why don't we all do the very best we can? What stops us? Is it just the fact we can get away with being average and still eke out a living? Or is it the dreaded need not to stand too far above the heads and shoulders of our peers? I'd say its likely a bit of both, mixed in with a healthy serving of our own secret personal excuses.

Yep, it's something to think about; and here's a more few ideas I've garnered from Gordon Ramsay:

- The F Word: ok its rude and controversial, but wow does Ramsay speak directly to issues. Most of us don't like being told to f@$#ing wake up to ourselves, but we could all use such advice at times. The truth is, we can all benefit from cutting to the chase of our own BS. Below the rubbish lies the gold.

- Sooner/faster/better: Ramsay's huge success also comes from his competitive drive, that pushed him first to learn as much as he could to be the best chef possible. Then he applied that drive to perfecting his business processes, so that everything was first class.

- Fierce Loyalty: you see Ramsay often berate someone for their lack of effort, but then encourage them warmly soon after. This extra-strong brand of tough-love seems to breed fierce loyalty amongst his staff, as they always know where they stand with him.

- Sense of humour: deep down, there seems a little twinkle in the eye of everyone's favourite raging chef. He loves what he does and remember the journey is reward. And it's this sense of levity that seems to stop Ramsay from tipping into dictator mode.

Choke Points

2008-01-16T23:12:00.000-08:00

A weakness always sets the height you can rise to.

Brian Tracy in his excellent book Goals, talks about the concept of how everything in life has a "choke point" or bottle-neck. It's much like in a traffic jam where one part of the road slows down several miles of traffic behind it. In everything we do, there is a choke point, or something that is holding us back from the huge success we want.

Sometimes these bottle necks are something that is outside our personal control, but very often it is actually something inside us that is the constraining factor. This is commonly called a weakness.

Not many people talk about their weaknesses. You rarely hear athletes, film stars or politicians making a big deal about how they perform poorly in a particular area. But behind the scenes, I can guarantee that they are working incredibly hard to turn their weaknesses into strength. They know that the only way to increase their overall success is free up their choke points.

You can try this idea for yourself: instead of avoiding your weaknesses, focus on improving them. Review your career, family life, health or finances and figure out your weak areas. Admit that you have a weakness, embrace them as a pet project.

Some common 'choke points' for people tend to be: lack of people skills, poor time management, bad money management, bad health habits, lack of knowledge or qualifications, lack of confidence and lack of direction or goals. Each person is unique in their strengths and weaknesses, but these can give you a few ideas to get started. Think of ways to improve in that particular area and look to people who have a strength in that area for tips and guidance.

If you do this consistently, you'll find that your life tends to flow a lot easier, like a freeway when all the lanes are open. And you might even be surprised how much more success starts to come your way.

New Years Revolution

2007-12-25T22:19:00.000-08:00

The end of a year is a great time to reflect back on what you've experienced during the past year, and also to start to think about the year ahead. There are hundreds of articles available on the how-to of goal setting, so with this article, I decided I would take a different approach. Here are three ideas on how to create good quality new years resolutions that you will stick to:

1) Take a review of your year gone by. Think through the lessons have you learned. Consider your achievements and what you have gained in your life. Also look at the tough times and what challenges you have overcome. If you are still feeling anxiety or anger over incidents from this year, then NOW is a great time to let them go.

If you do this first, you wont be stuck living in the past, and you will actually be free to move forward. You will have more energy to focus upon your new plans in the coming year.

2) Brainstorm your plans and goals for the new year. Everybody has a different method by which they plan and set goals. Some people like to write out specific time framed goals, some people like to write a big 'to do' list, others just like to talk about their resolutions. Whichever way you do it, consider these questions first, as they will give you a starting point to brainstorm:

- What is the major thing you'd like to improve?
- How would you like your life to be different?
- What new skills and knowledge would you like?
- What experiences would you like to have?
- Who are the people you'd like to share the new year with?

There are millions of ideas available to you, so be sure to have a good think. Don't pick too many things to focus on at once - choose maybe 3 to 5 things and keep a list of them handy. Work on them, and you will find that one by one they start to happen for you.

3) Take your new years resolutions seriously. The key reason most people don't change is that they just aren't serious about it. Most people treat their resolutions as weak conversation fodder, and laugh them off as soon as the new year gets started.

If you take the time to set out some ways to improve yourself and your life, then take the commitment seriously. Put in the time and energy required and this time next year you will be feeling great about where you are.

Elusive, Yet Obvious

2007-12-16T08:53:00.000-08:00

Sometimes 'the secret' you seek is just the obvious answer that's been there all the time.

As a life coach, I am fascinated by people who are high achievers. I am constantly reading biographies of the world's famous people to learn the 'secrets' behind their successes. But one thing that has become increasingly clear to me during my many years of study is that most of the time, the 'secret' isn't really a secret at all. In fact, most of the time it's pretty damn obvious how people become successful.

Most people whenever they begin a new endeavour, are always eager to learn the tricks of the trade. They want to know the short cuts, and the ways to get the success they seek with minimal effort. In our society, with the availability of information, it is easy to spend a great deal of your time searching for all the secrets and shortcuts, instead of just doing the obvious things that make you successful.

The famous psychologist Moshé Feldenkrais coined the term 'The Elusive Obvious', and I believe this is an apt description for the lesson here. Most of the time, when someone is successful, it comes down to these obvious factors:

- Work very hard and put in more effort than other people
- Gather a huge amount of knowledge in a specialist area
- Persist with a goal until success arrives

Of course, those ideas don't sound as appealing as learning a pile of insider tricks and secrets that will supposedly speed you ahead faster. But maybe that's exactly why so few people really make it to the top of their fields: it's harder to do the obvious, worthwhile activities than it is to seek the shortcuts.

So next time you want to succeed at something, maybe try doing the things that seem obvious and stick with them until you get the success you want.

Over Planning

2007-09-17T20:29:00.000-07:00

Can you take goal setting and life planning too far?

I am a big advocate for the practice of setting and following goals. I agree that you will achieve more in 5 years with written goals than most people without them will achieve in 20 years.

But is there actually a point where over-planning and excessive goal setting becomes a hindrance to actually living your life? It's a good question, and one that I've considered over the years working with people as a coach.

When I first trained as a coach, the trend was to set goals for every area of your life: career, relationships, health, recreation, education, spirituality, lifestyle, etc. This idea is good in theory, yet it often left the people I worked with feeling like their whole life was dictated by their ambitions. There was no room for spontaneity, as everything was about meeting their targets.

So over the years, I've tried to hone down and simplify the way I work with people to set goals. I tried to keep it simple and at the same time a method that will challenge people to be, do and have more. Here is the way I find works best for most people:

First, set some long term 3-5 year plans.

Anything over 5 years away is a little too hazy and idealistic to really do anything about, so just focus on the next 3-5 years. And don't worry too much about whether it will all happen exactly as you see it now. Things will grow and develop over the time period.

Second, set some 12 month goals.

These should be related to your 3-5 year goals, yet they should be achievable for you in the next 12 months. Make them challenging, maybe a little scary but not ridiculous. If you find yourself getting worried about the reality of achieving them, then maybe halve the goal.

Third, set some 3 month (90 Day) plans.

This is where you want to get specific. Set out your actions that you can take over the next 90 days that will make your 12 month plans start to happen. Make them challenging enough to require some changes, but not so painful that you detest the idea of starting on them.

Fourth, get started.

The best idea is to keep your 90 Day plans somewhere you can read through each day and decide what you can do today and this week to make the 90 Day plans start to happen. Then... get started!

So there you have it: the most simple formula I can give you for setting and achieving goals in your life. Try it for yourself when you have an hour or so, and you will definitely be better for it a few years down the track.

Up-Dating

2007-09-11T18:53:00.000-07:00

Is there a method to meeting and attracting your ideal partner?

This is a question a lot of singles seem to ask themselves and one I often get asked when I am working with someone wanting to meet the right person.

Well in short: yes, I believe there is. It has worked for me personally and for quite a few people I've coached as well. It's a fairly simple 3-step method, and while no dating method is 100% effective all-the-time, if nothing else it helps you get a clearer focus on who you are and what you want in life.

1) First you have to get clear on what you want. To make sure you are choosing the right type of person, make a list of some of the ideal characteristics that you would like in a partner. Some of the things you might like to think through are:

- personality type (social, direct, stable, introverted)
- body type (slim, athletic, average, larger)
- dress style (casual, classy, fashionable)
- intelligence/intellectual level
- compassion/kindness level
- communication skills
- ambition level
- life plans
- interests and hobbies
- religious beliefs

Make a list of these things first, and don't be shy on admitting what you want.

2) Next go through the exact same list, and quantify yourself. See how many of your characteristics actually match those of your ideal partner. If you can't seem to do this objectively, then enlist the help of a well-meaning friend. Tell them to be honest with you.

3) Go to work on yourself. You should now have a clear idea of the differences between yourself and your ideal partner. Start to make a list of changes that are required for you to be a better ideal partner yourself.

The reason we work it this way is that the other person you are searching for is much more likely to find you (or vice versa) once you both have more in common. In essence, by working on yourself you are doubling the chances that you'll meet and attract your ideal mate.

One final suggestion is to not take the search for a partner too seriously; laugh often, enjoy the journey, and keep working to make yourself a close match for the ideal person you'd like to meet. If you're sincere in your efforts, the right person will arrive sooner than you might expect.

The Size of Your Problems

2007-09-04T15:11:00.000-07:00

Every person who is living in the world has problems. It's simply a fact of being human that most worthwhile things in life don't come to us gift wrapped and ready to enjoy. And while we all wish our lives had less stress and worry, perhaps there is another way to view the problems you have in your life.

"The size of your problems is the size of your life."

I learned this little nugget of wisdom from dating coach Zan Perrion. He used it in the context of obsessing about your dating & relationship problems, but I think it also has more profound implications for the rest of your life too.

Think about it this way: how BIG is your life? How much does your life encompass? Do you have a big affect on others and your environment around you? A quick way to figure it out, is too look at the current problems you have.

If all your problems (or challenges) are concerning only you and managing your life, then it's safe to assume that your life isn't really that large. But if you find you have challenges that include other people, and you're making efforts working through them together, then your life is much richer for it.

On a broader scale, if you think of notable people throughout history, you notice that very often they took on the task of solving very large scale problems. They took on much more than was expected of any one individual, and for this their lives grew and made them famous.

It's an interesting idea, and one worth thinking about whenever you find that your current problems/challenges are getting you down. Remember that the size of your problems is the size of your life, and thus they are an important part of making you who you are.

Fantasy or Reality?

2007-08-29T23:00:00.000-07:00

Living your dream is not always what you dreamed it would be; but go for it anyway.

Have you ever had a fantasy about being, doing or having something in your life? Have you held onto an ideal of how you'd like things to be in your life? And have you, when it came time to take action towards what you want, decided you'd rather not make the effort?

Why do we, as intelligent, self-directed individuals always seem to be dreaming up newer and better ways to live? And why do we then not actually do very much towards making those dreams into a reality?

I believe it is because of the difference between our fantasy and the reality. Sometimes, what you dreamed about isn't actually so 'mcdreamy' once you start to face the real work involved.

Take Reality TV for example: many people (including myself on occasions) love to watch it, because we are fascinated with the real emotions and struggles that real people face. We are interested to see what will really happen when people try to do something different in their lives.

This not the same however in everyday life. Often we have an ideal - wealth, health, love, success, etc - inside our mind. We have the best bits all figured out, and the other parts filtered out. Thus, when it comes time to do something towards making our dreams a reality, we instantly get confronted with the tough bits we hadn't counted on.

We start a business, and soon realize that everything relies on us. We start a new relationship, and soon realize we have to share and compromise. We take a dream holiday and soon get stuck in the airport for 12 hours on standby. Soon after we start, we no longer WANT to pursue the dream, because the real bits of it aren't very appealing.

This is a trap we all fall into, and one that can be avoided by thinking through our goals more fully in the beginning. Take the time to realize that your fantasy version of your goals and dreams won't be exactly like the reality.

Even when you achieve exactly what you want, you'll still have challenges. They will be different from the ones you have now, but the reality is, they will always be there.

Living your dream is not always going to be what you dreamed it would be; but go for it anyway. A dream realized is better than all the fantasies in the world.

Being Yourself

2007-08-09T21:23:00.001-07:00

People value you more when you are genuinely yourself.

One of the common struggles on the road to developing into a fully functioning, self-actualized (i.e. happy) human being is the practice of being who you really are.

Most of us spend a great deal of our lives performing some sort of role with other people. Whether at work as professionals, or at home in a carers role, or with friends as an outgoing party person; we all have a large number of social persona's (also known as social 'masks') to fit into.

Of course the danger comes when we start to live with our social persona's completely in check all the time. We can find ourselves talking to our loved ones the same way we talk to customers, and instead of being ourselves, we can feel like we are just a service function in our own lives.

So how can we stop ourselves from becoming what we do, and just be who we are?

As a personal example: every so often I try to get some quiet time by myself to remove my social persona's and just feel my real emotions and thoughts. This can be done at home, at the beach or on a long road trip, where I have some alone time to really let go of everything else that makes up my life. Another way I find works for myself (and other people) is to journal my thoughts and feelings.

I find that doing this once a month or so helps me to re-connect with the genuine person I am underneath, and to bring more of that person into my everyday roles.

If you find yourself not being who you really are, maybe take some time out occasionally to refresh yourself and remove the social mask you find yourself stuck behind. It can be scary at first to just be yourself, but you'll find most people actually value you more when you are genuine with them.

Start Where You're At

2007-08-06T22:01:00.000-07:00

Enjoy your present path; it's the only one you've got.

One of the biggest mistakes we can make is to compare ourselves unfavourably, either to some ideal or to other people. This disease of 'comparisonitis' causes frustration, despondency and can erode your confidence if you linger in it too long.

Try a little test for yourself:

- Think about your ideal lifestyle and success level. Imagine your life if everything happened exactly as you'd like it to. Or if you like, think of someone who HAS your ideal life right now. Once you have a clear image of your ideal life, then compare it to your current position. Doing this shows you how far you have to go on your life journey, and how little of your ideal you actually have right now. In essence, by comparing your current life to your future ideal, you come out feeling deflated.

Now, here's another little test for you to try:

- Think back 5 or 10 years in your life. Think about how far ahead you are now in terms of what you have learned and the person you have become. Think about how much more you are able to do now, compared to 5 - 10 years ago. It's amazing the feeling of relief and control you experience by comparing yourself in this way.

You can see that by comparing yourself unfavourably, you always end up feeling bad about who you are right now. And of course, this does nothing to help you stay motivated and on course.

So the next time you start to feel yourself wishing you were already at a different stage in your life, just reframe yourself. Realise that it's better to start out where you are, and accepting that the current journey you are on is important. Enjoy the present path, because in reality it's the only one you've got.

Saying 'Yes' to Life

2007-06-21T19:35:00.001-07:00

Saying "no" all the time can really kill your joire de vivre.

Whenever I start coaching with someone new on improving their lifestyle, invariably the topic of feeling bored or stale tends to come up. It seems that a great deal of people - despite the huge array of possibilities open to them - tend to live narrow lives that include much the same behaviours practiced every day.

Of course, this is rarely something we do consciously, rather it's something that happens to us over time, and the lifestyle entropy begins to trap us. We start of by saying small "No's" to invitations or events, to new music or books, and after getting snuggled up in the comfort zone of our own life, we often find that many of our fun experiences soon start disappearing.

Author Keith Johnstone says it best in his seminal book Impro: "People with dull lives often think that their lives are dull by chance. In reality everyone chooses more or less what kind of events will happen to them by their conscious patterns of blocking and yielding."

The main reason we do this to ourselves is that it is easier to say "no" to new experiences in the short term, despite the damage it does long term. It's less scary to stay home and not go somewhere new, it's less scary to have the same people around us, and the same environment all the time. But what we don't realise is that always saying "no" and protecting ourselves robs us of the rich, random experiences that make life an exciting adventure.

The easiest solution is simply to reverse this behavior. Saying "yes" to new ideas and offers is the simplest choice you can make to give your life greater excitement and long term fulfillment.

Think of the last time somebody offered you an opportunity to do something new and you said "no" immediately. Perhaps next time you could try saying "yes"... and seeing what eventuates.

At the very least you may have a funny story to tell next time somebody asks what you've been up to.

A River or a Goal

2007-06-17T19:42:00.000-07:00

One of my favourite authors Earl Nightingale teaches a very important lesson when it comes to getting the most out of life. He believed that people who were motivated to achieve in life usually did it in two different ways. He called these types of people either a 'River person' or 'a Goal person'.

A 'River Person' is the type who loves to immerse themselves in a particular activity or type of work. These people are professional sports stars, scientists, musicians and yes, even politicians. People like Michael Jordan, David Bowie and Thomas Edison are great examples.

A 'Goal Person' is more directed to the specific goal they have at the time. These people tend to be entrepreneurs and adventurers. Famous examples of such people are Richard Branson, David Blaine or Angelina Jolie.

Both of these types of people work very hard, and often lose themselves in their work. Both types of people create amazing results for themselves, even though their focus is completely different; to a goal person, a river person may seem unfocussed, and to a river person a goal person may seem too haphazard.

What type of person are you? Do you love one specific area of work, or a special hobby? You're probably a river person; so stick with your interests and you'll probably do great things.

Or do you prefer to achieve a lot of different things in your life? If so, you're probably a goal person, so keep looking for new horizons once you reach your latest one.

If you like this idea, I'd highly recommend Earl's book 'Earl Nightingale's Greatest Discovery' - it's full ideas and strategies that can help you get more from your life.

Making Plans

2007-06-16T08:21:00.000-07:00

You'll get more done if you have a 'HOW'.

All of us are guilty of saying we are going to do something, and then not following through. But the one thing I find helps me, and the people I've worked with, to overcome this behaviour is one of the simplest things in the world: putting pen to paper.

Very often it isn't a fear that is holding us back, but rather a lack of knowing 'HOW' to start. We want something, yet we never really take the time to think through how we could go about getting it. Writing down your idea and a strategy to achieve it is a huge step in moving towards it.

By actually writing down your new ideas, and making an action plan - no matter how simple - you tend to follow through more. It also helps if you can share the action planning with someone else. Choose a person who you can trust who has your best interests in mind, and have a brainstorm and planning session.

Try this in your own life next time you feel stuck. All you need is a pen, a piece of paper, and some quality thinking time. You'll be amazed how much more you can get done when you have a 'HOW'.

The Simple Life

2007-05-22T16:20:00.000-07:00

Your life can be as simple as you want to make it.

It's a bit of cliche (and easy) to say life used to be simpler. A hundred years ago you didn't have broadband internet, super-sized fast-food meal options or highway carpool lanes. True that; but did all the simplicity we used to have really make life better?

When you consider all the inequality, the uncurable diseases and the lack of available knowledge, I'd choose our more complicated modern-day world over a simpler lifestyle of the past. The halcyon days look nice in a retrospective sense, but the modern world can offer just as much simplicity if you want it to.

Anyway, enough of my modernist preachy talk. Here are three ways people I've coached are enjoying a more simple, streamlined life in modern times. Feel free to try these ideas out for yourself sometime.

- Simplicity of focus: have only one or two important goals in your life each year. Keep a written copy close to you and ask yourself everyday what you can do to move yourself towards them.

- Simplicity of lifestyle: focus on having 3 or 5 good friends instead of 25 or 50 aquaintences. Pick one really cool place you've always wanted to travel to, and do it each year. Pick one room of your home and finish it off so it is exactly how you want it to look.

- Simplicity of possesions: Focus on having five classy (and more expensive) outfits instead of 200 fashionable ones. Focus on only owning your very favourite books, movies and CD's. Sell your unwanted possesions on eBay or give them charity.

Think about is this way: getting caught up in the hurried lifestyle of the everyday world is a choice. Have you ever been caught in rush hour while you were on holidays? Have you ever had to stand in line for a concert or show? At those times, your attitude is very different from your everyday attitude.

So the next time you find yourself cursing modern life, and perpetuating the myth that life used to be simpler; reframe it to realise your life can be as simple as you want to make it.

Making Space

2007-05-08T14:47:00.000-07:00

A clear mind makes it easier to move ahead.

I was having lunch with a friend a few weeks back, and we started talking about relationships and finding the right partner. Even though she is now in a great relationship, she told me that for several years previously she had been single, and often thought she'd somehow become 'terminally single'. I asked her how she finally got over this difficult stage. She told me that she realized she had to 'make space in her mind' for a new relationship. I was really intrigued by her idea, and asked to explain. She said that for years her mind had been full of old ways of thinking, past relationships that had gone bad, and worries about how to find the right person.

"Then one day" she said "I just decided I'd had enough, and decided to clear out all the old junk and make some room in my head". She told me that soon after that she met a great guy who also happened to be single, and they have been together ever since. Coincidence? Or is it a lesson we can all use?

We've all felt stuck on a plateau in our lives. For some of us it's work related, others it can be to do with relationships, or lifestyle. Often a big part of the blockage seems to be in our heads.

Here's an idea to try: make a conscious effort to clear out stale worries and old thinking that's stuck in your head. Put a big 'for lease' sign in their place. Keep the space blank and ready for new things. Lookfor new ideas, new people, new environments and situations around you.

You may be surprised how much can change when you start to do this, it's like a spring clean of the mind. Somehow having a fresh mind helps us to attract new changes into our lives.

The Upside of Failure

2007-03-27T18:25:00.000-07:00

You can't always get what you want... but is that such a bad thing?

So many people I coach seem to fear failure; it's something that stops them from really expanding their lives and gaining the success and happiness they want. Personally I am not immune from the fear of failure either, but I have learned a few ways to lower the amount of control the fear of failure has over me.

According to the Wikipedia, 'failure' refers to the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective. It may be viewed as the opposite of success. So,if you set a goal and don't reach it within the determined time-frame then you are a failure...

But is this really such a bad thing? Is it the end of the world if we don't meet with success every single time we try? Is there actually a value in not always getting what you want? And can't we just dust ourselves off and try again?

Napoleon Hill is famous for stating that 'every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit'.

I think this is worth meditating on next time you don't achieve what you want. Maybe there is a greater lesson that you need to learn within the failure. Maybe there is something wrong with your method that is stopping you from succeeding. Or maybe the particular goal you thought you wanted isn't actually the best thing for you.

In any case it's important to remember is that a failure is only temporary, and that life is very forgiving. If you don't meet your goal within the time frames you've set, you can simply re-set the time frame and try again.

Re-thinking your fears about failure can be very helpful. In reality the only way through to success is by trying again and again after you fail. As the famous Japanese proverb states 'fall seven times, stand up eight'.

And as Phil Knight, the founder of Nike, famously said 'all you have to do is succeed the last time'.

Traffic Jams

2007-03-26T21:12:00.000-07:00

Most people hate traffic jams, and with good reason. You want to get somewhere, and instead of getting there you're sitting in neutral, staring at the licence plate of the car in front.

As a lifestyle coach, one of my biggest challenges is to find the good in a bad situation; and a traffic jam is a tough one. So here are six simple ideas I've come up with of how to enjoy the time you spend stuck in a traffic jam.

1) Listen to some personal development programs
2) Listen to an audiobook of a novel you want to read
3) Call a friend or family member on your mobile/cell phone

And because nobody can hear you inside your car...

4) Talk yourself through your list of current goals
5) Talk yourself through a current challenge or worry
6) Listen to some good music and sing really loudly

I am always amazed at the amount of droll, lifeless faces that are stationed all around me in nearby cars. It's incredible that all these people don't bother to think of things that they can do to enjoy their traffic jam time more. They are stuck there everyday, and yet they do nothing with the time.

And of course, if you don't want to be stuck in traffic jams each day, then try leaving for work an hour earlier and working back an hour later. There is no traffic jam on the extra mile. And, as Brian Tracy often says, you'll be amazed how effective those two extra hours of work each day can be to your success.

Breakfast of Champions

2007-03-26T02:39:00.000-07:00

It's worth asking everyone you can how you can do better.

You may have heard the famous quote from author Kenneth Blanchard that 'feedback is the breakfast of champions'. This means that if you want to be the best at something in your life, then you'll need to learn a lot of tough lessons along the way. And those lessons always come in the form of feedback.

Most of us however, go out of our way to avoid receiving feedback, both positive or negative. We are all living in our little comfort zones, protecting ourselves from the reality that we could actually do better than we are now.

All of us think we already know the best way to do everything. I am guilty of this, and so are you. We all avoid asking for feedback because it protects us from bruising. And this is exactly why we all don't succeed in a bigger way.

Here's the reality: the feedback that you receive is worth the temporary pain it causes in order to gain a new advantage. In your life and your work, you'll need to change and correct your behaviour until you eventually become able to perform at the highest level.

It's worth having people tell you where you aren't doing a great job. It's rarely what you want to hear, but it helps you get where you want to go. Be grateful for every piece of feedback so that you can use the lesson to move to a higher level of success.

Here's a challenge for you: ask one person each day to give you one piece of feedback about yourself. Tell them to be honest and to tell you how you can do better. Eat the breakfast of champions of everyday and watch your success increase dramatically.

The Power of Inanity

2007-03-13T15:47:00.000-07:00

A challenge that many of us face in trying to change and improve our lives is facing the inanity of doing the same thing everyday. People who want to improve their health have to exercise the same way, day in and day out. People who want to build a successful business, have to serve customers the same way each day. People who want a great relationship have to stay with the same person every day.

Of course, along the way to our success, our variety-seeking psyche can sometimes forget why we actually started our course of action. It can get distracted, or find something seemingly better to pursue. Meanwhile, we forget that just breaking a new habit can result in our achieving less success than we actually want for ourselves.

One of my mentors and favourite authors, John McGrath, talks about the compounding value of our actions each day. He says that just like money compounds in a bank account, the more you practice a good habit, the more it gives you in return. Consistent daily action compounds so that down the track it is more powerful than you could have ever imagined.

Another analogy is the power of habits. A habit is a lot like a river, in that it starts small, and over time, it carves its way into the landscape. Over many years it can create something as amazing as the Grand Canyon. In much the same way, the daily chore of doing the right thing is the river that builds our person habits.

This are great points to remember whenever you start to feel like your daily actions towards your goals aren't as interesting as they once were. Sometimes the road to success isn't as interesting as we'd like, but the daily actions are where we make all the difference.

Sometimes it's boring, but often that's just what it takes.

The Million Dollar Question

2007-03-12T17:42:00.000-07:00

'What would you do differently if you won a million dollars?'

This is something I have been asking quite a few of my close friends, coaching clients and even my mentors lately. It is a fascinating question, as it often quickly reveals what our true ambitions are, and that often our fears are the only things holding us back.

The idea of having an extra million dollars in your life for most people means that they are financially able to pursue their passions, instead of just eking out a living day-to-day. They no longer are tied financially to anything, and have room to move in their life.

Of course, the irony is that very often the answers we give to the million dollar question are actually available to us right now. For example, some of the most common answers I hear are:

- Have more fun with friends and family
- Build my own business up
- Spend more time on my hobbies and passions
- Travel to new destinations and experience new cultures

One of my favourite authors, Earl Nightingale, describes success in this manner: "Success is the progressive realisation of a worthy goal or ideal". This means that as long as we are striving towards something that is important to us personally, we are successful.

So perhaps whenever you hit a point of demotivation or uncertainty in your life, ask yourself the Million Dollar Question. Then decide to do something - even something small - that will move you one step closer to the things you really want.

Success and enjoyment are a lot closer than you think...

A Simple Distinction

2007-03-11T13:39:00.000-07:00

'Everything is either an expression of love or a call for love'.

I was given this powerful nugget of wisdom by my good friend Akrura Dasa. We were discussing people's positive and negative reactions in communication. He told me that he had learned from one of his mentors that: 'Everything is either an expression of or a call for love'.

This statement really sent my head spinning, as it has powerful implications for our communications with other people. It means that whenever we communicate with another person, we are either expressing love or asking to be loved. Conversely, whenever somebody communicates with us, they are expressing love or asking to be loved. Of course you can change the word 'love' for 'respect', 'admiration', 'acknowledgement'; whichever you feel is appropriate.

Another great tool to help you with communcation is Steven Covey's excellent concept of 'seek first to understand, then to be understood'. This means that before we try to express our point of view or to be heard, that we should try to fully understand where the other person is coming from.

Using these two ideas together, we can have a much greater level of success and enjoyment when communicating with the people in our lives.

Lessons from the Poker Table

2007-03-08T15:31:00.000-08:00

Like a lot of people around the world, I have lately become interested in following the World Series of Poker tournaments, and the highs and lows of the players.

As well as the fun of playing socially with friends, I have found that the game of poker holds some great analogies for the game of life. And after reading the life stories of many of the world's best players in Aces & Kings, I found a few interesting distinctions I thought I would share.

Briefly, here are some of the best ideas that I gleaned from some of the worlds best:

1) Play for the passion, not the rewards. The lure of poker seems to be in the fantasy of easy money, and the easy lifestlye that comes with it. Yet those who win big in the world of poker, seem to spend little time actually focussing on the rewards of money or prestige. Rather they play, because they are passionate about the game.

2) Be willing to go bust several times before you win big. One of the founding fathers of modern poker, Puggy Pearson, lost everything and earned it back over 40 times in one year. This incredibly tough streak enabled him to learn the neccesarily skills and emotional tenacity to become a champion player.

3) Practice as often as you can. Many of the poker greats, such as Doyle Brunson and 'Amarillo Slim' Preston would play against any opponent, anywhere, anytime - simply for the experience and the lessons. They would also regroup after several games to review their learnings and devise new strategies.

4) Know when to fold 'em. This is almost a cliche of the poker world, but it is a relevant point for everyday life. In the game of poker, knowing when to throw away a hand that cannot win will save you pain and loss later on. The same can be said for walking away from bad business deals, destructive relationships or petty arguments. Just fold the hand and move on.

5) Embrace your tough beats. A great lesson that comes from David 'Chip' Reese is that you can gain a lot more from enjoying your tough beats than by simply regretting them. If you look into the reasons why you did not win, usually therein will be the seed of a new strategy for success down the track.

6) Live a life away from the table. Many of the worlds best players fell into the trap of spending too much of their time at the tables. Much like workaholics in any other business, they eventually came undone as a result of not having time to refresh themselves. Those who succeed over the longest period of time always have a lifestyle away from their work.

7) If you believe in it, you'll bet on it. The final point is a great one to test out for yourself occasionally. To truly test your resolve with something you are doing in you life, ask yourself if you would bet money on it. If the answer is yes, you know your heart is in the right place; if the answer is no, it's time to move on to something new.

Stay on your course

2007-03-06T22:44:00.000-08:00

A few days back, I wrote about the Art of Letting Go, and how sometimes it is important to quit things in your life that are no longer congruent with who you are. And what determines 'who' you are? I believe it has a lot to do with your overall path/purpose in life.

The reality is that as a person, you are constantly changing and evolving. You simply cannot stay the same person for the rest of your life. Your needs, wants, interests and beliefs will change as you experience life each day. Knowing when to move on from certain things in your life - whether a certain job or career, a relationship or particular circumstance - is much easier when you have a clear overarching path or purpose in your life. If you let your overall aim be your guide, it will tell you when and how to make the right decisions for you.

But is there more to having a path/purpose than just the success it inevitably brings. Having a clear path and purpose in life means you feel more confident, you can make better decisions, and people will respect you more. It means you are not as swayed by day-to-day problems or worries, as you know deep down that you are heading the right direction long term.

Some of the most difficult work you will ever do is to discover your true path and purpose in life. Trying to hone your thoughts and beliefs down to a simple, practical ethos is no small feat.

Some people I have worked with on this have taken years to uncover their clear purpose. Yet once they discover it, something changes within them. They have a quiet, powerful confidence that few other people possess. They achieve goals and overcome challenges with more ease and grace. They laugh more and enjoy the journey of their daily lives, as they know where they are heading overall.

So here are two great tips for living a life less ordinary:

1) Figure out your own path/purpose in life.
2) Stay on your course, no matter how many detours or roadblocks you come accross.

Simple, but not easy; yet very worthwhile.

Temerity

2007-03-06T12:17:00.000-08:00

Sometimes a little rashness can help you to succeed.

One of the most interesting things about coaching people from all around the world is being able to see the commonalities that we all share. And one of the first things you tend to notice is that we all want basically the same things in life: happiness, security, respect, love and fulfillment.

And of course, we all tend to have the same self-limiting thoughts and behaviours that hold us back. Something that tends to be common, no matter which part of the world somebody comes from, we all seem to lack the ability to give ourselves permission to go for what we want.

Perhaps it's the fact that we all start out as children and had to ask permission to do anything and everything in our earlier years. Perhaps it's the hangover from an outdated culture that says you only get somewhere by being a quiet, obedient worker bee and waiting for your numbers to come up.

Whatever the reason, I find that once a person I'm coaching with starts to give themselves permission to go for what they want, they begin a much faster climb towards the successes they seek.

This is because, at the end of the day, the only person who really cares about your success is you. Nobody is going to come along and make everything run smoothly for you, or tell you that you're now allowed to have the life that you've always wished for.

Now let's talk about the idea of temerity. Temerity, by definition is the act of being rash or too hasty in our actions. It means to act blindly or out of place.

Well, perhaps this is what is needed every so often in our lives. It seems to me that those who succeed in a big way tend to practice a bit of temerity every so often. Some of my favourite examples of temerarious people are:

Ben Lee, a 16 year old singer songwriter from Australia who moved to New York and won a recording contract and a returned home a star.

Jamie Oliver, Great Britains lovable larrakin chef who has created an empire through his passion for food and for helping people see the value of eating well.

Arnold Schwarzenneger, a poor Austrian bodybuilder who took over Hollywood in the 1980s and is now Governer of California.

These three (and countless others) have succeeded primarily because they pushed the envelope in their own lives and gave themselves permission to succeed. It took guts, persistence and a splash of temerity to make it work for them.

What can you do to push yourself 'out there' a little more in your life? What are you waiting for permission for to begin in your life? Perhaps acting with a little temerity today could kick start something new and exciting for you...

The Art of Letting Go

2007-03-05T16:33:00.000-08:00

...or ‘How to be smart enough to know when to quit’

Many times you will hear that only those who are persistent in life, love and career win the prizes. There is that famous quote from Calvin Coolidge hanging over our heads that ‘persistence and determination alone are omnipotent’. Over and over we are told that if we quit or change course midway through an endeavour, then we are weak or not made of the right mettle. But is this necessarily always true?

What happens in those times when you get the feeling it’s time to move on from something? What happens when you continually come up against roadblocks that you can’t seem to overcome? What happens when all your unrewarded efforts just seem to depress you?

In this article I’d like to share some simple ideas on figuring out when it is wise to walk away from something and start a new course of action. These ideas might help you in your career, relationships and general lifestyle.

History is full of people who quit one path, only to succeed greatly at something else. Ross Perot quit IBM to eventually become a self-made billionaire; Robbie Williams quit his boy-band tenure to become the highest payed solo pop artist of his generation; Diana, Princess of Wales ‘quit’ the Royal family, only to become more famous and respected for her humanitarian work.

Sometimes you reach the end of a certain path in your life and it is time to reassess whether to continue in the same way or to change directions. Sometimes the changes can be slight, sometimes they can be drastic. Sometimes you can feel guilt, or grief at the possibility of walking away from something that has been important to you.

Here are some simple guidelines that can help you make the right decision:

1) Ask yourself why you started what you’re doing

Think back to the starting point of your current situation. If it’s a relationship, what drew you into it in the first place? Is that still important to you? If it’s a career or project or some kind of work, what made you decide to get involved? Get these answers clear first so you can see your starting point and how far you have come.

2) Discover if you have any challenge or interest left

Is there anything you feel is incomplete or unfinished in your current position? Anything you want to accomplish, learn, do or say to someone? If so, make a bee-line towards it and get it done NOW so that you can move on without regret or need to back-peddle. This will free you to focus on something new.

3) Look at people who are a few years ahead in the same position

This is a great eye opener. Look at your current situation and find someone a few years ahead of you who elected to stay in the same position you are in now. Consider whether you would like to be in a similar situation in a few years. If the answer is no, it’s probably time to move on.

4) Free yourself from guilt

Often when we are attached to something for a long time, it can simply be a sense of guilt that holds us back from moving on. This can happen in relationships, careers, sports and many different areas.

A key to confidently moving on in your life is to be clear that is totally okay to change your mind and stop doing something you no longer enjoy. Be clear that your life is yours first and you will find people around you will respect your decisions more.

5) Move onto something new quickly

Whenever possible to move quickly onto something new in your life. Make sure your new focus holds your interest and gives you a sense of challenge, as this helps to emotionally lay the old activities to rest.

6) Do it in a classy way

Quitting and moving on from something is rarely a pleasant experience. Often an unpleasant situation precedes the act of quitting. There can be emotions that are expressed, or things left undone in the process of walking away.

Wherever possible, move on in a way that you can always return if need be. Or at the very least make the decision in a pleasant way that doesn’t offend people. Doing this will save you much regret later on, and may just come in handy down the track, as you never know when people from the past will offer you a new opportunity in the future.